How to Find Out if Your Ex Still Likes You

1. Talk to him/her, and if he/she listens to you without interrupting, and makes few comments, he/she may be interested.Also,if he/she talks to you even when he/she is not suppose to be on the phone, he/she probably still likes you and is sacrificing himself/herself just to spend more time with you.
2. Wear new clothes or clothes you know he/she likes around him/her and see if he/she makes any comments like 'Nice shirt, is it new?'. Actually, any compliments are good.
3. Steer the discussion to the subject of your breakup.Ask if he/she thinks there is a chance you two could get back together. Does he/she ever say things like, 'What was I thinking?' (referring to the time you guys broke up) or 'Yeah...' or he talks about how "we had good times together" and sounds distracted by remembering the fact you aren't together anymore? If so, then that's a sign he probably still likes you.
4. See if he calls you a lot just to say hi. This is a sure sign of interest. If he told you he'd call you at a certain time but he doesn't, he might call you at a different time and start explaining why he didn't call you at the time he said he would.
5. Talk about other guys/gals and see how much interest he takes. If he asks you often who you like or if he gets really quiet, he might be jealous. If he asks your friend questions about who you are interested in now, if you talk about him, or other questions like that, he most likely want you back.
6. Ask him/her who he likes, and if he doesn't respond, doesn't want to tell you, or immediately changes the subject, it's probably you.
7. He licks his lips whenever he sees you
8. Look at him/her in his eyes, and if he looks back (for more than two seconds), that's another way to tell.
9. Flirt with him/her, but not too much, and see if he flirts back.

Why Relationships are Difficult

A large part of my practice is made up of people interested in relationship advice. Not really by design (I started out working with teenagers), it just sort of worked out that way. Most often when someone comes in they want to know what to do.

They request a 5-step plan to fix their problem, and they will be on their way. I must confess, for years I tried that “5-step” type of approach. I read book after book and experimented on my clients. While I have personally seen marriages seemingly miraculously healed, it just wasn’t happening every time. The magical formula never came, at least not in the form I had expected.

What I did discover was that relationships are more than meets the eye. As I have mentioned in previous articles, if you have suffered any type of injury or trauma as a child, your brain and heart have an overriding goal for you. They will protect you at any cost – even if that method of protection causes you pain and loneliness. It is often primitive and deeply rooted. Here is an example.

Let’s pretend that I have a client named Alan (I made him up). Alan meets a woman named Cindy. Alan really likes Cindy and proceeds to call her every five minutes. When he comes into my office I tell him, “Let’s not call Cindy every five minutes. Women don’t like that.”

The next week he comes back in and says, “Bob, I have improved twice as much. I only called her every 10 minutes.” While I appreciate Alan’s 100% improvement, what Alan needs to do is improve exponentially and not call Cindy any more than once a week.

You can guess Alan’s reaction. He will grasp his heart as though I stabbed him. This surely can’t be the Lord’s will to abandon something that seems so right? It seems so right to call her, yet those feelings betray him. Every time Alan gets nervous, he picks up the phone and calls Cindy. It keeps his anxiety away.

Some use cigarettes or alcohol for the same anxiety relief. But what I want is for Alan to be anxious. He must allow himself to feel out of control so we can find out what the anxiety is trying to tell him.

His feelings will give him insight, if (and this is a big if) he will allow himself to listen to those anxious feelings rather than acting them out.

At times the insights occur quickly, other times it takes longer. What would cause Alan to be so anxious? There may be a variety of reasons. Most likely, he is afraid of being hurt or rejected.

While he longs for a relationship, he has also set himself up for failure because he feels that a relationship should feel good...always...forever.

His long history of avoiding painful feelings has taught him to be even more afraid of them. Painful feelings are bad things that he runs away from.

The problem with Alan’s thinking is that relationships, by their very nature, are a bit scary. Once you allow yourself to experience a feeling you like (such as love), all the uncomfortable feelings now also have a doorway out of your heart.

It no longer remains suppressed. It all comes out. Feelings and fears alike that may have been dormant for years now seem to creep out at the most inconvenient times.

The reason I am so relationship oriented is that many times individuals misinterpret their fear and anxiety as something wrong with them or with their partner, rather than realizing it is normal and something to work through.

It is an opportunity to be free of the very fears they are experiencing. This in no way involves instances of abuse or an unhealthy relationship. If it is unhealthy, most likely your friends and/or family will gladly point that out to you.

If we could learn to stay with our fears rather than acting them out, our heart would learn that it does not need to protect us as it did when we were a child. In time, those childhood fears will begin to subside. What now feels unnatural can at some point become effortless.

If you or someone you know feels they are experiencing this type of issue, let them know that there is help. What is happening to them is not unique. There are answers to their questions and fears. Once they discover this, relationships become an opportunity for healing and growth, rather than work.

Getting back After A Heartbreak

Being heartbroken is a pain that no one can understand until they have experienced it for themselves.

You obviously have, therefore are aware of how fragile your heart is right now. Healing a broken heart will take time, but is not impossible, though it may feel that way at the time. It is never an easy process to go through, but with the right prescription, you will be on your way to recovery and happiness again.

The first thing you should keep in mind is that it is okay to feel sad and grieve about what happened and that you are not stupid for doing so. It is perfectly normal to feel sad and cry after a break up.

You have invested most of your time and all of your love and interest into your ex-partner; therefore will go through a sad and painful withdrawal. It is notable that you not grieve all on your own.

Sure, there will be times when you will just want to be alone and undisturbed. However, it is important that you talk to your friends and family about it.

Talking about it is not only healthy, but will mend your heart quicker because you will release the thoughts and facts that are hurting you so much.

Seeking professional advice will be a great help to you as well because your mind will open up and see new perspectives and understandings of what happened. It will help you gather your strength, pick yourself up, and find the happiness you deserve to have.

Accepting the fact that you and your ex-partner are no longer together is a necessity if you are going to start mending your broken heart.

If you catch yourself unable to function due to constantly thinking about your ex or repeatedly calling or visiting him or her for another chance, then chances are you are suffering from love addiction and should seek counseling.

Discontinuing a serious relationship is emotionally challenging and can drive you to do things that are unhealthy for your self-being. To avoid entering such hazardous areas, keep yourself occupied.

Go out with your friends and family to help get your mind off the break up. It is best to spend as less time alone as you can in the first few weeks of your breakup so that your emotions can slowly and patiently form back into their normal pattern.

Fight the thoughts that tell you that you are a failure and are to blame for the end of your relationship. When a relationship ends it means that the two of you were no longer compatible and that always takes two, not just you.

Instead of beating yourself up over what has transpired, examine your ex-relationship by listing the things you enjoyed most about it and then the things that disappointed you and what you believe really caused the breakup. Look at the relationship as a learning experience and an opportunity to improve your relationship skills, and a way to realize what you truly need and want from a romantic relationship.

Enjoying your Relationship

Having a Good and Lasting Relationship

We all want to be loved and have a happy and long-lasting relationship with a person that we care about. Unfortunately, many relationships end very quickly, because people fail to sustain them. If you have a history of bad relationship in the past, this article can be really helpful to you.
Having a strong and exciting relationship is an art that should be learned and applied in every day’s life. Here is a list of most effective tips on how to have a good relationship.

1. Make sure that your significant other feels your love, support and encouragement. It is so nice to go home and know that there is someone ready to listen and to comfort you if needed.

2. Relationships are not only about taking; they are about giving as well. Try to brighten up your partner’s day by cooking a gourmet dinner, buying him/her a little gift or arranging a romantic weekend for the two of you. Love is like a flame, if left to the mercy of fate, it is dying down.

3. If there is a problem between the two of you, never use a “silent treatment”, blame, blackmail, or humiliate the person that you love. It will only lead to an argument or unneeded outbursts of anger. A lot more effective approach is to discuss the problem and explain your feeling.

4. Never go to bad mad at each other. Try to patch things up or call it a truce before the bedtime. It will give you time to calm down and in the morning everything will seem in different light.

5. Do not try to change your partner. You have to face it! People don’t change. We may try to learn from our mistakes and act a little bit differently in some situations, but we can’t become someone we are not. You have to love the other person the way he/she is. Do not lower your partner’s self-esteem by making comparisons with other people and letting him/her know that he/she is losing in comparison.

6. Give your partner some free space. Don’t cling and demand from the person that you care about to spend all of his/her free time with you. Try not to start your sentences with “you should”, “you shouldn’t”. No one likes to be ordered around and told what to do. You have to realize that you and your boyfriend/girlfriend have absolutely equal rights in this relationship.

You have to respect his/her wishes and decisions even if you don’t agree with them.
With the little patience, understanding and creativity you can turn even the short affair into an amazing long-lasting passionate relationship!

Long distance Relationship:DO's and DONT's

Long Distance relationship:

I have discovered that there are lots of thing that we must do and as well as refrain from doing in order to survive the relationship. Below are some of the advices that we have compiled over the years. Although they may look simple but when it comes to the actual execution, it may take more than your effort and discipline. It is your desire to survive the relationship that makes the most impact in writing the outcome of your distance relationship. Consider some of the below do and don’t list and together with your desire, I am pretty sure you are able to conquer your distance relationship with ease and fun.

Do’s

1) Establish an effective communication channel

The very first thing that you must do in a long distance relationship is to establish an effective communication channel. Most people will think that telephone is the most convenient mode of communication but apart from the telephone services, there are some other alternative you can use. Instant messenger, emails, VOIP phone and conventional mails can be very effective if you know how to use them. Each of the communication channels has its own advantages and disadvantages and therefore you must start to explore each of them to enhance your communication experience.

2) Plan to meet each other

There is nothing more important than planning to meet each other again at an interval of time throughout the period of your long distance relationship. This will help both you and your partner to catch up with each other over the things that you cannot do while apart. The anticipation of seeing each other again will always give you the excitement, hope and as well as eliminating the lonely feeling in your LDR.

3) Build hobby that you can both share

By building and keeping a hobby, both of you will have something to discuss and work on throughout your distance relationship. Finding something to do online can be quite interesting judging from its speed and reach ability but never leave out conventional hobby as well because you do not need to have your partner’s physical present to share a hobby.

4) Surprise your partner

Occasionally surprise you partner with cards, gifts, letter and flower out of their expectation apart from your normal correspondence. Put your imagination to use and your partner will be sure to love your effort in keeping them happy. Sending the unexpected gifts to your partner will always spice up your distance relationship regardless how far your partner may be.

5) Capture and share that interesting moment

Throughout the period of your LDR, you can always capture some interesting moment of yours by exchanging photos, video clips and as well as audio recording. This will indirectly keep your partner informed on what has happen in your life despite the physical distance.

Don’ts

1) Settle for a temporary replacement

One of the mistakes that a distance relationship couple often make is to settle for a temporary replacement when their partner is not physical around. By letting a third party into your life, you will not only put your distance relationship to risk but you will also break the mutual trust and agreement that you make. Although it may not be done intentionally but this type of mistake will be very costly to your long distance relationship.

2) Take the relationship lightly

The absence of your partner does not give you the license to dictate and manipulate the relationship. You must remember that, your partner has their own right to participate in any decision making toward the well being of your relationship regardless where there are. A long distance relationship is also as important as a normal relationship and your partner has their own right to be treated fairly.

3) Wait and see attitude

Most of the failures in distance relationship that we observed are contributed by the wait and see attitude of the couples themselves. This was caused by the insecurity of the couple as they do not think that the LDR will work but at the same time they do not want to put a stop to the relationship. Let me tell you this, if you plan to have this kind of attitude, refrain from walking into one at the first place because both you and your partner will suffer in the relationship. In a LDR, both partners must be committed and proactive in bringing the relationship to a higher level.

4) Suspicion

There are no rooms for suspicion in a long distance relationship. In order for you to survive your distance relationship, you must learn to trust your partner whole heartedly. A single suspicion will break the bond you have for each other and it is a beginning of the end if you start to suspect your partner at any point of your LDR. Although it is easier said than done but trust me, if your partner is apt to do something unfaithful to you, they will still do it under your nose. Therefore there is no need for you to create such unnecessary stress in your LDR.

5) Succumb to negative comment on LDR

Couples in distance relationship always make a mistake by believing that LDR do not work. The negative impression you have in LDR will eventually hunt you down and destroy your relationship if you choose to listen to the negative comment. Therefore, once you have decided to enter into a long distance relationship, you must learn to believe that your relationship will work. I knew it because I had successfully conquered my own distance relationship due to the reason that I am not influence by any of the bad comments I received.

Jennifer Aniston on How to make your relationship work

Having not quite successful love life has taught Jennifer Aniston lessons on the things that make relationships work. Sharing the points with the latest Australian edition of Harper's Bazaar magazine, she says "I think a good relationship is about collaboration. That's the way to go in a relationship."

"I think you just need to talk to each other. Say what you need. Say what you want. That way it's not threatening. You just need to say, 'This is important to me.' Don't expect your mate to read your mind," she explains further. Jennifer, moreover, also mentions the one factor that causes relationship doesn't work, saying "I think it's laziness".

Not elaborating her statement, Jennifer tells Harper's Bazaar that when her relationships with certain people fail she prefers to remain friends with them. "I think it's important to have closure in any relationship that ends - from a romantic relationship to a friendship. You should always have a sense of clarity at the end and know why it began and why it ended. You need that in your life to move cleanly into your next phase," says the actress.

Above all, Jennifer concludes "It's my experience and I feel good about it. I don't feel I'm supposed to be any further along or somewhere that I'm not."

How To Tell If Your Spouse is Lying.

Relationships Tips
Everybody lies. The lies may be small and harmless ("That haircut looks great!"; "I find your abs way better than Brad Pitt's"), or they may be big and serious ("No, honey, I didn't take out a second mortgage"). Even the "harmless" ones can destroy a relationship if they're sufficiently frequent. So how do you know if you're being hoodwinked?

To start, it's important to know why people lie. While there are certainly individuals who fit the profile from the old car salesman joke (how do you know a car salesman is lying? His lips are moving) and lie simply because they can, it isn't the case with the majority of folks. "Most of the time, people lie when they don't feel safe telling the truth," observes relationship expert Dr. Jackie Black. That doesn't excuse the behavior, but it does suggest a relationship where one party is so afraid of disapproval, they decide it's easier to skip the truth. If you're having a problem and decline to discuss it with your partner because you're afraid of how they'll respond, they might feel the same way ... and they've likely been misleading you as well.

What are other tip-offs?
At first, he may avoid outright lying and become evasive. "Usually people are uncomfortable telling lies," says Dr. Black. "Men may stop being forthcoming; it might begin to feel like pulling teeth to have a conversation. When asked direct questions, he may avoid answering the questions directly or say, 'I don't know' a lot." Unsurprisingly, badgering him will rarely result in the truth, and he may lie simply to end the conversation. Once he gets away with one lie, more are soon to follow.

Making it stop
How do you stop the lying? Dr. Black says you need to build a relationship based on:
1. Acting with goodwill and good intentions
2. Treating your partner's feelings as if they were your own
3. Treating an environment of zero tolerance for adversarial energy between the two of you
Or just hook each other up to polygraph machines.

Deciphering the body talk
On many occasions, the mouth and the body aren't in sync — the words sound utterly convincing but everything else sends a very different message. Here are six of the most common physical indications of deception. While one or two are likely meaningless, if you see enough of them repeatedly, you should probably be concerned.
1. Covering the mouth while talking. It's as if they're subconsciously repressing the untruths they're spouting. It may be as blatant as completely concealing the mouth or as subtle as a single finger placed in front of the lips.

2. Touching the nose. Scientists have found that lying can cause the tissue in the nose to swell, meaning that a quick stroke could be a sign of deceit (or that it's allergy season).

3. Rubbing an eye. When lying to someone, the instinct is to look away in shame. Since that's a dead giveaway, many people content themselves with a fast wipe of the peepers.

4. Touching an ear. Just as you're supposed to see no evil, you should hear no evil as well. These nervous gestures can range from a small rub of the back of the ear to an outright yank of the ear lobe.

5. Going for the neck. Research has found lying can cause a tingling in the tissues of the neck, leading to scratching or pulling the collar. It signals that the speaker is feeling uncertainty, so be concerned if you see it right after your sweetie announces, "Of course this Prada dress was on the sales rack at Marshalls." 6. Shaking the head no while saying yes. If he says, "Yep, I'm getting home late because I have a big assignment to finish" while nodding his head, he's working late. If he sends the mixed message of saying yes while shaking his head no, look for him at the Club.

What is love?

WHAT IS LOVE?

Love as defined by researchers is divided into two main types:

* Passionate love
which involves continuously thinking about the loved one and also involves warm sexual feelings and powerful emotional reactions.

* Companionate love
Is having trusting and tender feelings for someone who is close to you.

Now one of the best known theories of love (which means an educated guess that isn't proven fact) is Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love.

The three components of the Triangular Theory of Love are:

Passion, the feeling physically aroused and attracted to someone.

Passion is what makes you feel "in love" and is the feeling most associated with love. It also rises quickly and strongly influences and biases your judgment.

Intimacy, the feeling close and connected to someone (developed through sharing and very good communications over time).

Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.

Commitment, pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.

Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person if things get tough.

Now Sternberg also uses his Triangular Theory of Love to answer some of the most commonly asked questions about love:

Is there love at first sight?

This is when we are overwhelmed by passion, without any intimacy or commitment (both of which take time). Sternberg calls this infatuated love, Because there is not intimacy or commitment, infatuated love is fated to fade away.

Why do some people get married after being in love for a very short time?

This is a combination of passion and commitment, but without any intimacy. Sternberg calls this Hollywood love. This is where two people make a commitment to each other based on their passion. Unless intimacy develops over time, this relationship most likely will end.

Can their be love without sex?

Ah yes, companionate love, where intimacy and commitment are present without any sexual passion.

Why doesn't romantic love last?

Passion and intimacy without commitment is Romantic love. When the passion fades, and the intimacy wanes, the relationship ends.

LOVE Vs INFATUATION

Love and Infatuation

Infatuation is instant desire - one set of glands calling to another.

Love is friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and pieces about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is the quiet understanding and mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you - to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by their presence, even when they are away. Miles do not separate you. You have so many wonderful little films in your head that you keep replaying. But near or far, you know they are yours, and you can wait.

Infatuation says, "We must get married right away. I can't risk losing them."

Love says, "Be patient. Don't panic. Plan your future with confidence."

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. Whenever you are together, you hope it will end in intimacy.

Love is not based on sex. It is the maturation of friendship, which makes sex so much sweeter. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When they're away, you wonder if they're cheating. Sometimes, you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. They feel your trust, and it makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret, but love never steers you in the wrong direction.

Love is an upper. It makes you feel whole. It completes the circle. It fills the empty space in your heart. Love is elevating. It lifts you up. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person than you were before. If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great many things you don't have. If there is no love in your life, whatever else there is has a lot less meaning.

The secret of our being is not only to live but to have something to live for.

Find Out If You Are In Love Or Not?

Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing,
And your voice caught within your chest?
It isn't Love, it's Like.

You can't keep your eyes or hands off of them, am I right?
It isn't Love, it's Lust.

Are you proud, and eager to show them off?
It isn't Love, it's Luck
.
Do you want them because you know they're there?
It isn't Love, it's Loneliness.

Are you there because it's what everyone wants?
It isn't Love, it's Loyalty.

Do you stay for their confessions of Love,
because you don't want to hurt them?
It isn't Love, it's Pity.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't Love, it's being Unconfident.

Do you belong to them because their sight
makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn't Love, it's Infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
It isn't Love, it's Friendship.

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
It isn't Love, it's a Lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
It isn't Love, it's Charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?
Then it's Love.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?
Then it's Love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?
Then it's Love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
Then it's Love.

Do their eyes see your true heart,
and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's Love.

But do you stay because a blinding,
incomprehensible mix of pain and elation pulls you close and holds you?
Then it's Love.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?
Then it's Love.

Now, if Love is painful, and tortures us,
so, why do we Love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?
Because it's...
Love

Tips that Could Help Your Relationship

WHAT A LADY WANTS FROM HER MAN

1-Talk to her
2-Share secrets With Her
3-Laugh with her
4-let her be with you when
you're with your friends
5-Dont Ever let your Friends Take her place.
6-Make her know She is special
6-Hug her
7-Hold her
8-invite her somewhere,take her out and spend Quality time with her.
9-Teach her some of the things you need her to know.
10-Be her best friend in the world,
her lover and trust her completely.

keep reading

11.-Always smile with her and correct her instantly
when she does something wrong
12-Take pictures with her and dont be shy to introduce her
as your girl.
13-Pull her onto your lap and believe me , Ladies love it when their man
plays with them.
14-when she says she loves you more,
deny it. fight back
15-when her friends say i love her
more than you, deny it. fight back
and hug her tight so she cant get to her friends.
it makes her feel loved.


Are you thinking about someone Right now?

16-Always hug her and say i love you when you see or talk 2 her
17-Kiss her unexpectedly, it makes her
believe you have missed her
18-HUG HER FROM BEHIND AROUND THE WAIST
19-Tell her shes beautiful always and be sincere with her!
20-Always remind her of how you feel about her!


......you need to show her you mean it too


21-DONT ask her to buy you stuff. you buy HER stuff.
22-Tell her what feels good and what you love
the most about her
23-Make her Know she is loved and be convinced about it.
24-Buy her stuff even the smallest thing like
Candy, Chocolate e.t.c
we might deny it but we acutally like it
and kinda want our man to get us things


26-Don't ever lie to her, let her trust you absolutely.
27-Dont cheat on her
28-Take her anywhere she wants
Take her for long walks at night.
29-Always call and send her messages,
tell her to have to have a
good day, and how much you miss and love her
Call her at night to wish her sweet dreams.
30-Be there for her when ever
she needs you, & even when
she doesn't need you, just be there
so she'll know that she can always count on you


31. Hold her close at all times and let be your Companion.
32. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears.
33. Kiss her on the cheek and forehead.
(it will give her the hint that you want to kiss then).
34. While in the movie, put your arm around her
and then she will automatically put her
head on your shoulder, then lean in
and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly.
35. Dont ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If shes upset, comfort her


Remember this next time you are with her


36. When people diss her, stand up for her.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so she can listen to the steady beat of your heart, Link your fingers together while you whisper to her as she rests her eyes and listens to you.
39. When walking next to each other take her hand.
40. When you hug her hold her in your arms as long as possible


MAKE SURE SHE KNOWS SHE IS LOVED


Always Remind her how much you love her.

you'll never know when she needs just a little more love


BEING A REAL BOYFRIEND.

If you truly love your girl, you have to believe and know that she is the most important person in the world to you. She is what makes your world go round. You have to let her know that.

She isn't the most important "thing", shes your most important person in the world. Your girlfriend is not an object to be won, to have to use, she is a person in your life who is to be loved and treated as so.

If you treat her like she is the most important thing in the world, then you dont need any dating tips.

ABOUT CONTRACEPTIVES

CONTRACEPTIVES

If you use contraceptives and suddenly find yourself pregnant, you may wonder why your chosen method of birth control failed to work. The fact is that an overwhelming 53% of unplanned pregnancies occur in women who are using contraceptives. And while you may think that only teenagers and young women experience contraceptive failure, the fact is that the majority of unplanned pregnancies, about three-quarters of them, occur in women over the age of 20, according to an article in the Journal of the American Medical Association.


Why are so many women getting pregnant while using contraceptives?
Failure to follow the instructions for a given birth control method exactly as directed is a key cause of contraceptive failure. If you're using birth control pills, taking them at exactly the same time every single day greatly reduces any chance of contraceptive failure and unplanned pregnancy.

Women who use a diaphragm or cervical cap need to make sure that the cervix is completely covered before having sexual intercourse.

IUD users need to check that the device is in place monthly.

Another cause of contraceptive failure occurs when contraceptives are used inconsistently. Forgetting to take just one birth control pill significantly raises your risk of becoming pregnant; forgetting to take more than one oral contraceptive in a month means that you should use an alternative contraceptive for the remainder of that menstrual cycle. Barrier methods such as condoms, cervical caps, and diaphragms have to be used during each and every act of sexual intercourse; forgetting just one time means you might become pregnant. Of course, natural family planning only works when practiced consistently and correctly.

Condoms that break or have even the smallest tear also often led to unplanned pregnancy. So when using condoms, it is of importance that they are used properly and in Good Condition.

Causes of condom damage includes:

1. Improper use,

2. Inadequate use of a water-based lubricant,

3.Using condoms past the expiration date, improper storage.

4. Jewelry, fingernails, and other objects may create tiny tears in condoms that render them ineffective. If condoms are your choice in contraception, make sure to use a vaginal spermicide to decrease your risk of unplanned pregnancy should condom damage occur.


Contraceptive failure may also happen in women taking certain drugs or herbs. If you're using oral contraceptives check with your doctor and / or pharmacist for any possible drug / herb interactions that may reduce the effectiveness of your birth control pill.

Believing that you are not in your fertile period is a huge mistake that can potentially lead to an unplanned pregnancy. There is no "safe time" of the month, according to researchers from the National Institute of Environmental Health, where they have found that the possibility of pregnancy may occur on almost any day of the month including during menstruation.


Remember, birth control pills and other methods of contraception do not offer any protection against STDs -- only the consistent and proper use of condoms can offer you that protection. Unless you are in a long-term, mutually monogamous relationship, the use of a condom is recommended during each and every act of sexual intercourse, as well as during oral sex, to protect yourself.

Pregnancy, Things To Avoid

Pregnancy is a very special time for mother and baby. As a mother during pregnancy you are connected to your baby via the placenta, it is your baby's lifeline. The placenta brings important things, such as oxygen and nutrients, to your baby and it removes the waste products that your baby produces while in your womb. However the placenta cannot stop harmful substances such as alcohol and nicotine, from smoking, crossing from you to your baby. Avoid alcohol - this could lead to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Avoid caffeine this can reduce absorption of certain nutrients Avoid smoking this can cause problems for mother and baby Avoid drugs & medicines only take prescribed medicines but always consult your doctor before doing so or if you are unsure Avoid herbal supplements the effects of some herbal drugs are not known, always consult your doctor if you are unsure Avoid fish at risk of contamination by mercury - this means such fish as fresh tuna, swordfish, shark, king mackerel or tilefish Avoid fish at risk of contamination by chemicals such as PCB's (industrial pollutants): bluefish, stripped bass, salmon, trout, walleye. Supplements can offer a pure source of essential fatty acids Avoid foods at risk of contamination by listeriosis bacteria: unpasterised milk, soft cheese (such as brie, camembert, cambozola & stilton), raw vegetables and raw seafood (such as crabs, oysters, prawns) Avoid foods at risk of contamination by other bacteria: raw meat such as sushi, seafood (shellfish), rare or uncooked meat or poultry. Avoid raw egg foods such as caesar dressing, mayonnaise, home made ice cream or custard, tiramisu or hollandaise sauce. Avoid foods such as liver and liver products (pate or liver sausage) and fish liver oils (cod liver oil) contain high levels of vitamin A. Excess levels of which have been shown to be harmful to growing babies. Avoid excess salt intake - cut back on your intake of table salt (sodium chloride) by avoiding obviously salty foods, checking labels of pre-bought foods (75 per cent of dietary table salt is hidden in processed foods) and avoid adding it during cooking or at the table Avoid trans fatty acids this includes highly processed foods and foods that have been cooked using oils taken to very high temperatures (hydrogenated foods). These are not only associated with high cholesterol but also the reduction in absorption of essential fatty acids. Use olive oil or rapeseed oil during cooking, do not re-use oils. When you need a snack try fruit or raw vegetable nibbles instead of pastries, cakes, biscuits or crisps. Avoid refined sugars and try to regulate sugar intake, keep your intake of sweets, chocolates and sugary, fizzy rinks to a minimum. Some of these foods are very difficult to eliminate but you must try to reduce them if you can. Some last tips Good Housekeeping Keep your kitchen clean and dry Keep fridge temperatures below 5C (41F) and freezer below -18C (0F) Wash hands thoroughly before preparing foods Store raw meat at the bottom of the fridge, covered, and keep it separate from cooked foods Defrost frozen produce thoroughly before cooking Cook foods thoroughly, and throw away any that are past their use-by dates Finally, keep pets out of the kitchen at all times. Finally it is good to remember You are what you eat and Your baby is also what you eat.