Getting back After A Heartbreak

Being heartbroken is a pain that no one can understand until they have experienced it for themselves.

You obviously have, therefore are aware of how fragile your heart is right now. Healing a broken heart will take time, but is not impossible, though it may feel that way at the time. It is never an easy process to go through, but with the right prescription, you will be on your way to recovery and happiness again.

The first thing you should keep in mind is that it is okay to feel sad and grieve about what happened and that you are not stupid for doing so. It is perfectly normal to feel sad and cry after a break up.

You have invested most of your time and all of your love and interest into your ex-partner; therefore will go through a sad and painful withdrawal. It is notable that you not grieve all on your own.

Sure, there will be times when you will just want to be alone and undisturbed. However, it is important that you talk to your friends and family about it.

Talking about it is not only healthy, but will mend your heart quicker because you will release the thoughts and facts that are hurting you so much.

Seeking professional advice will be a great help to you as well because your mind will open up and see new perspectives and understandings of what happened. It will help you gather your strength, pick yourself up, and find the happiness you deserve to have.

Accepting the fact that you and your ex-partner are no longer together is a necessity if you are going to start mending your broken heart.

If you catch yourself unable to function due to constantly thinking about your ex or repeatedly calling or visiting him or her for another chance, then chances are you are suffering from love addiction and should seek counseling.

Discontinuing a serious relationship is emotionally challenging and can drive you to do things that are unhealthy for your self-being. To avoid entering such hazardous areas, keep yourself occupied.

Go out with your friends and family to help get your mind off the break up. It is best to spend as less time alone as you can in the first few weeks of your breakup so that your emotions can slowly and patiently form back into their normal pattern.

Fight the thoughts that tell you that you are a failure and are to blame for the end of your relationship. When a relationship ends it means that the two of you were no longer compatible and that always takes two, not just you.

Instead of beating yourself up over what has transpired, examine your ex-relationship by listing the things you enjoyed most about it and then the things that disappointed you and what you believe really caused the breakup. Look at the relationship as a learning experience and an opportunity to improve your relationship skills, and a way to realize what you truly need and want from a romantic relationship.

Enjoying your Relationship

Having a Good and Lasting Relationship

We all want to be loved and have a happy and long-lasting relationship with a person that we care about. Unfortunately, many relationships end very quickly, because people fail to sustain them. If you have a history of bad relationship in the past, this article can be really helpful to you.
Having a strong and exciting relationship is an art that should be learned and applied in every day’s life. Here is a list of most effective tips on how to have a good relationship.

1. Make sure that your significant other feels your love, support and encouragement. It is so nice to go home and know that there is someone ready to listen and to comfort you if needed.

2. Relationships are not only about taking; they are about giving as well. Try to brighten up your partner’s day by cooking a gourmet dinner, buying him/her a little gift or arranging a romantic weekend for the two of you. Love is like a flame, if left to the mercy of fate, it is dying down.

3. If there is a problem between the two of you, never use a “silent treatment”, blame, blackmail, or humiliate the person that you love. It will only lead to an argument or unneeded outbursts of anger. A lot more effective approach is to discuss the problem and explain your feeling.

4. Never go to bad mad at each other. Try to patch things up or call it a truce before the bedtime. It will give you time to calm down and in the morning everything will seem in different light.

5. Do not try to change your partner. You have to face it! People don’t change. We may try to learn from our mistakes and act a little bit differently in some situations, but we can’t become someone we are not. You have to love the other person the way he/she is. Do not lower your partner’s self-esteem by making comparisons with other people and letting him/her know that he/she is losing in comparison.

6. Give your partner some free space. Don’t cling and demand from the person that you care about to spend all of his/her free time with you. Try not to start your sentences with “you should”, “you shouldn’t”. No one likes to be ordered around and told what to do. You have to realize that you and your boyfriend/girlfriend have absolutely equal rights in this relationship.

You have to respect his/her wishes and decisions even if you don’t agree with them.
With the little patience, understanding and creativity you can turn even the short affair into an amazing long-lasting passionate relationship!

Long distance Relationship:DO's and DONT's

Long Distance relationship:

I have discovered that there are lots of thing that we must do and as well as refrain from doing in order to survive the relationship. Below are some of the advices that we have compiled over the years. Although they may look simple but when it comes to the actual execution, it may take more than your effort and discipline. It is your desire to survive the relationship that makes the most impact in writing the outcome of your distance relationship. Consider some of the below do and don’t list and together with your desire, I am pretty sure you are able to conquer your distance relationship with ease and fun.

Do’s

1) Establish an effective communication channel

The very first thing that you must do in a long distance relationship is to establish an effective communication channel. Most people will think that telephone is the most convenient mode of communication but apart from the telephone services, there are some other alternative you can use. Instant messenger, emails, VOIP phone and conventional mails can be very effective if you know how to use them. Each of the communication channels has its own advantages and disadvantages and therefore you must start to explore each of them to enhance your communication experience.

2) Plan to meet each other

There is nothing more important than planning to meet each other again at an interval of time throughout the period of your long distance relationship. This will help both you and your partner to catch up with each other over the things that you cannot do while apart. The anticipation of seeing each other again will always give you the excitement, hope and as well as eliminating the lonely feeling in your LDR.

3) Build hobby that you can both share

By building and keeping a hobby, both of you will have something to discuss and work on throughout your distance relationship. Finding something to do online can be quite interesting judging from its speed and reach ability but never leave out conventional hobby as well because you do not need to have your partner’s physical present to share a hobby.

4) Surprise your partner

Occasionally surprise you partner with cards, gifts, letter and flower out of their expectation apart from your normal correspondence. Put your imagination to use and your partner will be sure to love your effort in keeping them happy. Sending the unexpected gifts to your partner will always spice up your distance relationship regardless how far your partner may be.

5) Capture and share that interesting moment

Throughout the period of your LDR, you can always capture some interesting moment of yours by exchanging photos, video clips and as well as audio recording. This will indirectly keep your partner informed on what has happen in your life despite the physical distance.

Don’ts

1) Settle for a temporary replacement

One of the mistakes that a distance relationship couple often make is to settle for a temporary replacement when their partner is not physical around. By letting a third party into your life, you will not only put your distance relationship to risk but you will also break the mutual trust and agreement that you make. Although it may not be done intentionally but this type of mistake will be very costly to your long distance relationship.

2) Take the relationship lightly

The absence of your partner does not give you the license to dictate and manipulate the relationship. You must remember that, your partner has their own right to participate in any decision making toward the well being of your relationship regardless where there are. A long distance relationship is also as important as a normal relationship and your partner has their own right to be treated fairly.

3) Wait and see attitude

Most of the failures in distance relationship that we observed are contributed by the wait and see attitude of the couples themselves. This was caused by the insecurity of the couple as they do not think that the LDR will work but at the same time they do not want to put a stop to the relationship. Let me tell you this, if you plan to have this kind of attitude, refrain from walking into one at the first place because both you and your partner will suffer in the relationship. In a LDR, both partners must be committed and proactive in bringing the relationship to a higher level.

4) Suspicion

There are no rooms for suspicion in a long distance relationship. In order for you to survive your distance relationship, you must learn to trust your partner whole heartedly. A single suspicion will break the bond you have for each other and it is a beginning of the end if you start to suspect your partner at any point of your LDR. Although it is easier said than done but trust me, if your partner is apt to do something unfaithful to you, they will still do it under your nose. Therefore there is no need for you to create such unnecessary stress in your LDR.

5) Succumb to negative comment on LDR

Couples in distance relationship always make a mistake by believing that LDR do not work. The negative impression you have in LDR will eventually hunt you down and destroy your relationship if you choose to listen to the negative comment. Therefore, once you have decided to enter into a long distance relationship, you must learn to believe that your relationship will work. I knew it because I had successfully conquered my own distance relationship due to the reason that I am not influence by any of the bad comments I received.

Jennifer Aniston on How to make your relationship work

Having not quite successful love life has taught Jennifer Aniston lessons on the things that make relationships work. Sharing the points with the latest Australian edition of Harper's Bazaar magazine, she says "I think a good relationship is about collaboration. That's the way to go in a relationship."

"I think you just need to talk to each other. Say what you need. Say what you want. That way it's not threatening. You just need to say, 'This is important to me.' Don't expect your mate to read your mind," she explains further. Jennifer, moreover, also mentions the one factor that causes relationship doesn't work, saying "I think it's laziness".

Not elaborating her statement, Jennifer tells Harper's Bazaar that when her relationships with certain people fail she prefers to remain friends with them. "I think it's important to have closure in any relationship that ends - from a romantic relationship to a friendship. You should always have a sense of clarity at the end and know why it began and why it ended. You need that in your life to move cleanly into your next phase," says the actress.

Above all, Jennifer concludes "It's my experience and I feel good about it. I don't feel I'm supposed to be any further along or somewhere that I'm not."

How To Tell If Your Spouse is Lying.

Relationships Tips
Everybody lies. The lies may be small and harmless ("That haircut looks great!"; "I find your abs way better than Brad Pitt's"), or they may be big and serious ("No, honey, I didn't take out a second mortgage"). Even the "harmless" ones can destroy a relationship if they're sufficiently frequent. So how do you know if you're being hoodwinked?

To start, it's important to know why people lie. While there are certainly individuals who fit the profile from the old car salesman joke (how do you know a car salesman is lying? His lips are moving) and lie simply because they can, it isn't the case with the majority of folks. "Most of the time, people lie when they don't feel safe telling the truth," observes relationship expert Dr. Jackie Black. That doesn't excuse the behavior, but it does suggest a relationship where one party is so afraid of disapproval, they decide it's easier to skip the truth. If you're having a problem and decline to discuss it with your partner because you're afraid of how they'll respond, they might feel the same way ... and they've likely been misleading you as well.

What are other tip-offs?
At first, he may avoid outright lying and become evasive. "Usually people are uncomfortable telling lies," says Dr. Black. "Men may stop being forthcoming; it might begin to feel like pulling teeth to have a conversation. When asked direct questions, he may avoid answering the questions directly or say, 'I don't know' a lot." Unsurprisingly, badgering him will rarely result in the truth, and he may lie simply to end the conversation. Once he gets away with one lie, more are soon to follow.

Making it stop
How do you stop the lying? Dr. Black says you need to build a relationship based on:
1. Acting with goodwill and good intentions
2. Treating your partner's feelings as if they were your own
3. Treating an environment of zero tolerance for adversarial energy between the two of you
Or just hook each other up to polygraph machines.

Deciphering the body talk
On many occasions, the mouth and the body aren't in sync — the words sound utterly convincing but everything else sends a very different message. Here are six of the most common physical indications of deception. While one or two are likely meaningless, if you see enough of them repeatedly, you should probably be concerned.
1. Covering the mouth while talking. It's as if they're subconsciously repressing the untruths they're spouting. It may be as blatant as completely concealing the mouth or as subtle as a single finger placed in front of the lips.

2. Touching the nose. Scientists have found that lying can cause the tissue in the nose to swell, meaning that a quick stroke could be a sign of deceit (or that it's allergy season).

3. Rubbing an eye. When lying to someone, the instinct is to look away in shame. Since that's a dead giveaway, many people content themselves with a fast wipe of the peepers.

4. Touching an ear. Just as you're supposed to see no evil, you should hear no evil as well. These nervous gestures can range from a small rub of the back of the ear to an outright yank of the ear lobe.

5. Going for the neck. Research has found lying can cause a tingling in the tissues of the neck, leading to scratching or pulling the collar. It signals that the speaker is feeling uncertainty, so be concerned if you see it right after your sweetie announces, "Of course this Prada dress was on the sales rack at Marshalls." 6. Shaking the head no while saying yes. If he says, "Yep, I'm getting home late because I have a big assignment to finish" while nodding his head, he's working late. If he sends the mixed message of saying yes while shaking his head no, look for him at the Club.

What is love?

WHAT IS LOVE?

Love as defined by researchers is divided into two main types:

* Passionate love
which involves continuously thinking about the loved one and also involves warm sexual feelings and powerful emotional reactions.

* Companionate love
Is having trusting and tender feelings for someone who is close to you.

Now one of the best known theories of love (which means an educated guess that isn't proven fact) is Robert Sternberg's Triangular Theory of Love.

The three components of the Triangular Theory of Love are:

Passion, the feeling physically aroused and attracted to someone.

Passion is what makes you feel "in love" and is the feeling most associated with love. It also rises quickly and strongly influences and biases your judgment.

Intimacy, the feeling close and connected to someone (developed through sharing and very good communications over time).

Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.

Commitment, pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.

Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person if things get tough.

Now Sternberg also uses his Triangular Theory of Love to answer some of the most commonly asked questions about love:

Is there love at first sight?

This is when we are overwhelmed by passion, without any intimacy or commitment (both of which take time). Sternberg calls this infatuated love, Because there is not intimacy or commitment, infatuated love is fated to fade away.

Why do some people get married after being in love for a very short time?

This is a combination of passion and commitment, but without any intimacy. Sternberg calls this Hollywood love. This is where two people make a commitment to each other based on their passion. Unless intimacy develops over time, this relationship most likely will end.

Can their be love without sex?

Ah yes, companionate love, where intimacy and commitment are present without any sexual passion.

Why doesn't romantic love last?

Passion and intimacy without commitment is Romantic love. When the passion fades, and the intimacy wanes, the relationship ends.